Joanna’s posterous

"More" To Love?

I'll admit it (and I think I have before), I'm a reality TV fiend. I love bad TV. Love. Recently, a new show started. The third episode just aired in which all of the girls go to the prom with the guy (assuming most of the women had such horrible high school years that they didn't get to attend). The concept of the show is basically that fat people are capable of the emotion of love. So there is one fat dude, and a herd of fat girls. The fat girls compete for the fat guy. Hopefully it'll end in marriage (at least that's how they make it seem it will end).

I had really high hopes for this show. I was hoping they'd get some really confident big girls to be on the show. Of course I was wrong. I would say about 70% of the women cried during their entrance interview about how horrible their lives have been up to this point. Their weight held them back, no one loved them because of it, and life has just flat out sucked.

Maybe it's me? But my life hasn't sucked. I've dated plenty of guys and am currently dating a man who makes me feel incredibly loved, wanted, and damn sexy. I went to my senior prom with a date. I played lacrosse in high school and even got moved to starting on the Varsity team towards the end of my first season. I've never really been sad or felt held back because of my size. Sure, everyone has body image issues every once in a while, but I wouldn't say mine are above and beyond what any "normal" woman has.

It makes me incredibly sad and uncomfortable to listen to these women repeat that the guy on the show will love them for their insides and won't judge the outside. That, my friends, is a bunch of bullshit. That guy is looking at you the same as any other guy is. "Man those are nice tits"... "She's got a great face". He's definitely not interested in these women based purely on their personalities. It's just that he prefers bigger women. A thin girl to him is the equivalent of what a chubby girl is to a different guy. On top of all this... it seems these women don't believe their outsides are worth loving too. If you're looking for a man to love you for simply one half of yourself... then something is wrong. You should want a man to love you for both halves. He should find you sexy and mentally stimulating. Perhaps most of these women are not "more" to love and are really just  a large group of incomplete women.

I understand that my expectations of women, let alone big women... to be confident and to create their own happiness isn't realistic. But that's what I expect. I had a date to prom because I asked my friend Andy. I've gone on dates with men because I've asked them. All of these things are choices. Make your own happiness.

I'm not completely sure how I feel about the show. I think it is good to have these really beautiful, big girls on TV. At the same time it's sad that the personalities (for the most part) don't match the bodies. This show, and this lone man... shouldn't give you the validation you need. I guess it's good if it does... self love (obviously) comes from the self. You shouldn't put your love, confidence, and hopes all on one other human being.

It's necessary to be ok on your own and love yourself.... because before and long after anyone else you're all you've got.

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One Day

This is a song I heard just the other day from the new Matisyahu album. It comes out sometime next month. I'm pretty excited for it. I'll post the youtube video of the song here but if you'd like to see the actual video you'll have to go HERE (they disabled embedding.... booooo).

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Over a month

Jeez, I'm lazy. I've just had so much going on. The last post I made was before I started my job. I suppose I made another after starting but decided to make it private so that Chinese spies wouldn't mine the information (thank you again to the wonderful Shannon for reminding me to not be a doofus.

Work is still going well. I'm learning a lot, classifying storms, and catching on quickly. I've already worked my first set of midnights. It was... interesting. The shift work isn't horrible but let's hope that shift lengths remain 10 hours. There has been discussion that they won't. I've been thinking about what will happen in the future. I really can't see myself being pregnant and doing shift work. But that's a ways off.

Over 4th of July weekend I went to Steve and Sarah's wedding. That I CAN post pictures of :) It was a beautiful ceremony, and the weather was perfect. Everyone had a great time I think and I am so incredibly happy for the both of them.

Life is exactly as it should be lately...


             
Click here to download:
Over_a_month.zip (360 KB)

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And finally a song

This song is catchy as hell and apparently was in the Twilight soundtrack? I don't remember hearing it during the movie and was surprised that a band like Mute Math was on there. I always considered them a band that only the really indie folks would discover and love. I'm glad to see them making it though. Enjoy the song, I've been playing it on loop. You know how I roll.

Spotlight by Mutemath  
(download)

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Graduation

I'm done. Doneeeee! Here are some pictures from the event... my favorites.

                           
Click here to download:
Graduation.zip (3771 KB)

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A necessary update

Life is crazy right now. Within the last week I turned 23, I interviewed for and then landed a job working as a Satellite Analyst contractor for NOAA (with potential to go government), took two final exams and have now received all my final grades (2 B's and a C which I in all seriousness couldn't be happier with haha), and today I graduate. I'm going to walk across a stage and shake hands with someone I do not really know and will receive in all likelihood an empty diploma folder to be filled later. I guess all of this hasn't quite hit home yet. I'm excited and kind of nervous. I'm wondering how successful I'll be in real life and realizing that I've been in school (to at least some extent) for about 18 years now. That blows my mind. Completely blows my mind.

This Sunday is my graduation party. All of my wonderful girl friends are coming to town to meet my family and the place that had a huge part in making me who I am. I'm ridiculously excited about it. It'll also be fun to have the entire family together (for the most part anyway).

I'm proud to have made it here. There were times where I seriously doubted I could... times where I wondered why I even bothered to come here. Now I couldn't be happier to have started, endured, and now completed this crazy journey. I'm kind of sad it's coming to an end. Only a little, though. I'm ecstatic to be starting my career.

The rest of my life is starting.

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Life as I know it

Life has been busy. Crazy. It's been kind of all over the place, too. I have bought my cap and gown, picked up graduation tickets for the ceremony on the 22nd (and I have also been told they will in fact say Joanna Marie Birch when I receive my "diploma"). So there's that. I'm pretty nervous about it all. I'm playing it down quite a bit. I don't really want a huge fuss made. I almost don't even want to deal with the whole thing just because it's another thing to add to my ever growing check-list of crap that needs to be done.

Besides all of that, the job hunt is going as can be expected I guess. I went and met with a recruiter last Tuesday and then received a phone call on Friday that he was no longer with the company. So that's good. I sure am glad I sat down with him in person and made a lasting impression on a human being who no longer matters in any capacity. I'll likely start applying like crazy again once graduation and finals are over.

I'm really looking forward to not being in school anymore. This will definitely allow me the opportunity to go to more shows and do more at night (knitting, where have you been!?). Gogol Bordello is coming in June. Jenny Lewis (if she isn't already sold out). I'm also considering Bonnaroo. Passion Pit is about to drop a new album. I've listened to a leak AND heard their first single on the radio last night. It's amazing. I'll post the video the guys put up on YouTube so you can check it out. I actually never got to mention this...

So here is my Passion Pit story. My cousin Scott got married on Easter weekend and used to jam with the drummer and is still really close to him. Anyway, he was at the wedding. I got to meet him. I hugged him. Had a groupie picture taken with him. I still feel like an ass because I said NOTHING about his amazing music to him. At that point I just found out they got added to Bonnaroo. They were about to drop the new album. There was tons I could've said but didn't because I was hard core blushing and my uncle made me feel like a goober. Anyway, it was cool to meet him. Hopefully I'll get the chance to redeem myself at some point in the future.

Enjoy this new single. Then go enjoy this sunny, warm Mother's Day. I know I will.


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Time for taxes

This post isn't actually about taxes. It's about a Fergie song (remixed) that you should listen to while doing your taxes today. I know there's at least one of you who still needs to! Found this one by accident when searching for the original after a friend mentioned his dislike of Fergie EXCEPT for this song (unremixed).

He's decided he likes the original better. I'm still a huge fan of the remix, though. So here you go: Clumsy remixed by LMFAO.

Told you remixes are better!

Clumsy (Remix) by Lmfao Feat. Fergie  
(download)

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Sweedish music with a French name

In case you're like me and you enjoy playing single songs on loop occasionally... you'll enjoy this one. It's kind of like the song that doesn't end. The fade out matches with the fade in perfectly. I heard it on during my lunch break the other day. Fell in love with the track and downloaded the album. The album is actually quite weak in my opinion. I found myself skipping lots of songs. Apparently my opinion isn't the only one out there as Pitchfork gave the album an 8.6 (and Pitchfork isn't all that giving with the ratings). Maybe it's the type of album that grows on you after several listens. I may never find out. Anyway, the song is called Collapsing at Your Doorstep by Air France.

It's a great track. I'd call it kind of ambient/electronic/indie. But wikipedia says the band's sound has been described as "post-rave bliss", "beach foam pop"and "Baleric disco" (in case you don't know what the word Balearic means, it pertains to the Baleric Islands just off the coast of Spain... weird).

Collapsing At Your Doorstep by Air France  
(download)

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Permanence II

I started the coloring of my tattoo. I'm very happy with it so far. Very. Happy.

   
Click here to download:
Permanence_II.zip (5207 KB)

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